Healing Trauma: How Your Body Holds the Story

By Asha Wilkerson

Most people think healing from trauma is about talking. We talk in therapy, we talk to our friends, we read books that talk about what happened to us. But what happens when you’ve done all the talking and still feel that familiar, cold drop of water rising from your stomach into your chest? The real internal work for trauma healing isn’t just about understanding what happened; it’s about changing how your body holds the story. It means teaching your nervous system that it’s safe now, even when memory tries to pull you back into then. This work is about moving from knowing into doing, from recognizing the trigger to regulating your response in the moment.

Young Black woman with eyes closed, hand on chin, contemplating trauma healing (Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on pexels)

What is Trauma, Really?

We tend to put trauma in boxes. There’s the big ‘T’ Trauma (war, major accidents, violence) and the little ‘t’ trauma, like the sting of microaggressions, gaslighting at work, or a childhood where love and security felt conditional. But your nervous system doesn’t make this distinction. As one expert puts it, “If it hurt you, then it hurt you – and your feelings and experiences are valid.” Trauma isn’t just the event; it’s the lasting imprint it leaves on your mind, your body, and your spirit. It’s the reason why, years later, a certain tone of voice or a notification about a bill can send you right back into a state of fight, flight, or freeze.

The Brain’s Response to Threat

When you experience something overwhelming, your brain’s threat detection center, the amygdala, kicks into high gear. It essentially hijacks your rational brain (the prefrontal cortex) to ensure survival. A quote I return to often is, “Trauma changes the brain. It doesn’t just create painful memories. It reshapes how the brain processes threat, safety, and emotion.” For many, especially the 70% of adults in the United States who have experienced at least one trauma, this reset can become the default. Your system stays on high alert, scanning for danger even when you are objectively safe. This is why you might overreact to small stressors or feel a constant, low-grade anxiety you can’t explain.

Big ‘T’ vs. Little ‘t’ Trauma

The distinction between big ‘T’ and little ‘t’ trauma is useful for categorizing events, but it can be misleading when it comes to impact. Big ‘T’ traumas are life-threatening events that are often at the root of the 6% of U.S. adults who develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Little ‘t’ traumas are distressing events that are not life-threatening but still exceed our capacity to cope. These can include:

• Ongoing emotional neglect or invalidation.
• Bullying or social exclusion.
• A difficult divorce or relationship breakdown.
• Chronic stress from a toxic work environment.

Over time, the cumulative effect of these smaller, repeated injuries can be just as damaging as a single, major event. They slowly erode your sense of self-worth and safety.

The Real Internal Work for Trauma Healing

So what does the internal work for trauma healing actually look like? In a recent podcast episode, Ep 64: Reclaiming Personal Power: Are You Willing to Do the Work?, I explored this exact question. I shared my own struggle with finances, a trigger rooted in my childhood. My dad used to use money as a tool for control, even making me sign contracts for basic needs when I was a teenager. Now, as a business owner in Lisbon, Portugal, every Tuesday when I sit down to do payments for Asha's Place, that old anxiety resurfaces. It’s a full-body experience.

It became clear that the “work” wasn’t about becoming a better bookkeeper. The real work was regulating my nervous system in the face of that trigger. I had to ask myself, as I shared in the episode, "Am I willing to do the internal work to get to where I want to go? Not about the hard work, not about the physical labor, but am I willing to grow through the things that I need to grow through to get to where I want to go?" This is the core of healing.

Moving from Understanding to Action

It’s one thing to understand why you feel anxious about money, or commitment, or speaking up. It’s another thing entirely to act differently in the moment. As I said on the show, "What is harder to do is to move from understanding into into action. Because that actually requires some nervous system regulation work." This is where somatic, or body-based, practices come in. These aren’t about analyzing the past; they’re about experiencing the present differently. It’s about teaching your body, on a cellular level, that it is no longer in danger.

The Phases of Trauma Recovery

Healing is not a linear process, but it often follows a general progression. Many models, like the one described by Judith Herman in her foundational book Trauma and Recovery, outline three main phases. While every person's path is unique, this framework helps make sense of the process.

1. Safety and Stabilization: This is the foundational phase. You can’t process trauma if you don’t feel safe in your own skin. This stage focuses on creating internal and external safety. It involves learning grounding techniques, establishing routines, and building a reliable support system. The goal is to get your nervous system out of constant crisis mode.
2. Remembrance and Mourning: Once a sense of safety is established, you can begin to process the memories of the trauma. This is often done with a therapist in a controlled way, allowing you to integrate the experience without being re-traumatized. This is where you grieve the losses associated with the trauma.
3. Reconnection and Integration: In the final phase, you begin to create a new sense of self and a new future. You redefine yourself in light of the trauma, but not by it. This involves reconnecting with others, pursuing new interests, and finding meaning in your experience. You come home to yourself.

Strategies for Building Internal Safety

Creating a feeling of safety within your own body is the first and most critical step. This is about learning the language of your nervous system and giving it what it needs to feel secure. It’s less about positive thinking and more about physiological regulation.

Grounding Techniques for the Present Moment

Grounding brings you back to the present when your mind is lost in past trauma or future anxiety. These are simple, physical check-ins.

• The 5-4-3-2-1 Method: Name five things you can see, four things you can feel (the chair beneath you, the texture of your clothes), three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This pulls your focus out of your head and into your sensory environment.
• Physical Contact: Hold a piece of ice in your hand. The intense cold is a powerful anchor to the present. You can also splash cold water on your face, which activates the mammalian dive reflex and can slow your heart rate.
• Mindful Movement: Simple, repetitive motions can be incredibly soothing. Gently rock back and forth, tap your feet on the floor, or walk slowly, paying attention to the sensation of your feet connecting with the ground. At Asha's Place, we use gentle healing practices as a doorway back into the body.

Vagal Nerve Exercises for Regulation

The vagus nerve is the main highway of your parasympathetic nervous system, the "rest and digest" system. Stimulating it sends a message to your brain and body that you are safe.

• Humming or Chanting: The vibrations created by humming, chanting, or even gargling stimulate the vagal nerve in your throat. Pick a simple "Om" or hum a favorite tune.
• Deep, Slow Breathing: Inhale slowly for a count of four, hold for a moment, and exhale even more slowly for a count of six or eight. The long exhale is key; it activates the parasympathetic response.
• Cold Exposure: As mentioned before, even a short burst of cold on your face or the back of your neck can powerfully shift your nervous system state.

“If you do not heal from the traumas that you have experienced, they show up in so many different ways.”
— Asha Wilkerson

Healing Trauma in a Workplace Context

Workplaces can be a significant source of trauma, whether from a single critical incident or the slow burn of burnout, gaslighting, and microaggressions. Because so much of our identity and security is tied to our careers, this type of trauma can be particularly devastating, often leading to a crisis of self-worth and what many call "imposter syndrome." Healing requires recognizing the source of the injury and taking specific steps to create safety.

Identifying the Sources of Workplace Trauma

Workplace trauma doesn’t always look like a dramatic event. It often accumulates through subtle, persistent patterns. Some common sources include:

• Gaslighting: Being made to question your own perceptions, memory, or sanity.
• Microaggressions: Subtle, often unintentional, comments or actions that communicate a bias against a marginalized group.
• Burnout: A state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged or excessive stress.
• Vicarious Trauma: For those in helping professions, exposure to the trauma of others can take a significant toll.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step. As one source notes, “Identification of organizational patterns helps to normalize workers’ experiences and reduces their individual sense of failure and isolation.”

A person meditates on a cushion in a quiet room for inner peace and healing (Photo by Ricko Pan on unsplash)

Strategies for a Trauma-Informed Workplace

Creating a psychologically safe workplace is not just an HR initiative; it's a leadership imperative. A trauma-informed culture prioritizes safety, trust, collaboration, and empowerment.

Outdated Approach	Trauma-Informed Approach
Focus on individual performance and "resilience."	Focus on systemic issues and psychological safety.
Demands urgency and immediate response.	Allows for thoughtful pauses and nervous system regulation.
Discourages vulnerability and emotion.	Normalizes emotional responses and provides support.
Top-down, hierarchical communication.	Promotes transparency, choice, and collaboration.
Mistakes are seen as individual failures.	Mistakes are viewed as learning opportunities for the system.

Managers can foster this by modeling vulnerability, setting clear and respectful boundaries around working hours, and actively soliciting feedback. It means moving from asking "what's wrong with you?" to "what happened to you, and how can we support you?"

Post-Traumatic Growth at Work

While incredibly challenging, navigating workplace trauma can also be a catalyst for profound growth. Post-traumatic growth is the positive psychological change experienced as a result of adversity. This isn't about toxic positivity or ignoring the pain. It’s about finding new meaning, deeper relationships, and a greater appreciation for life on the other side of the struggle. For many, it leads to a career change, a new commitment to advocacy, or a radical re-prioritization of well-being over external achievement.

The Role of Support Systems in Healing

You cannot heal from trauma in isolation. Connection is the antidote to the shame and disconnection that trauma creates. This support can come in many forms, and building a multifaceted support system is key to long-term well-being.

Professional Therapeutic Approaches

Working with a qualified, trauma-informed therapist is often essential. They can provide a safe container for processing difficult memories and learning new coping skills. Several modalities are particularly effective for trauma.

1. Somatic Experiencing (SE): Developed by Dr. Peter Levine, SE focuses on releasing traumatic shock from the body by gently guiding a person’s attention to their physical sensations, or "felt sense."
2. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): This therapy uses bilateral stimulation (like eye movements or tapping) to help the brain reprocess and integrate traumatic memories.
3. Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT): This approach helps individuals change unhelpful thinking patterns and behaviors related to their trauma.

At Asha's Place, we incorporate many somatic principles into our healing practices to complement the work one might be doing with a therapist.

The remedy isn’t more discipline; it’s learning to trust yourself again and to let your body be your compass rather than your enemy.

The Power of Community and Belonging

Beyond professional help, community is where healing takes root in real life. Being seen, heard, and accepted by a group of people who understand can be profoundly regulating. Trauma often tells us we are alone and that something is wrong with us. A supportive community tells a different story: you belong, and you are not broken.

This is why group work, healing circles, and shared meals are central to what we do. It’s about creating a space where, as I often say in my programs, women can enter a room and not have to explain why they are exhausted. They are simply held. This sense of belonging is a powerful force for reconnecting to oneself and the world.

Further reading

• Trauma-Focused Therapy Techniques - Palo Alto University
• [[PDF] Trauma and Healing in Organizations](https://aura.antioch.edu/context/etds/article/1188/filename/2/type/additional/viewcontent/ODPractitioner2002.pdf)
• The Long Way Home: What Healing from Trauma Actually Looks Like

FAQ

What’s the difference between stress and trauma?

Stress is a normal reaction to a demanding situation. When the stressor is removed, the nervous system typically returns to its baseline. Trauma, however, is the response to an event that is so overwhelming it bypasses our ability to cope. The nervous system gets "stuck" in a high-alert state, even long after the event is over, leading to lasting changes in how we perceive and react to the world.

Can you heal from trauma without therapy?

While many people develop their own coping mechanisms, healing from significant trauma without professional support can be very difficult and, in some cases, risky. A trained trauma therapist provides crucial safety, guidance, and specialized techniques like EMDR or Somatic Experiencing that are designed to process trauma without overwhelming the nervous system. Community and self-help are powerful complements to therapy, but often not a complete substitute for it, especially for complex or developmental trauma.

How long does internal work for trauma healing take?

There is no timeline for healing. It is a deeply personal and non-linear process. The duration depends on the nature and severity of the trauma, the individual's resources and support system, and the methods used. The initial phase of establishing safety can take months or even years. The goal is not to "get over it" quickly, but to gently and sustainably integrate the experience and build a life that feels safe, connected, and meaningful.

How do I know if I have unresolved trauma?

Unresolved trauma can manifest in many ways. Common signs include chronic anxiety or depression, emotional numbness, difficulty with relationships, a persistent feeling of being unsafe, hypervigilance (always being on guard), sleep disturbances, and physical symptoms like chronic pain or digestive issues. You might also notice a pattern of self-sabotage, an intense fear of failure, or a reaction to certain situations that feels disproportionate to the current event.

What is a "trauma-informed" approach?

A trauma-informed approach assumes that an individual is more likely than not to have a history of trauma. It recognizes the widespread impact of trauma and understands potential paths for recovery. This framework, whether in therapy, education, or healthcare, prioritizes creating environments of physical and psychological safety, transparency, trustworthiness, collaboration, and empowerment. It shifts the focus from "What’s wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?"

Choosing to do the real, internal work of trauma healing is an act of reclaiming your power. It’s a commitment to stop running from the discomfort and instead learn to create safety from within. It isn’t easy, but it is the path back to feeling whole, connected, and fully human. If you are ready to create the space for this work, we offer private sessions and solo retreats designed to help you come home to yourself.

This article draws on the podcast episode Ep 64: Reclaiming Personal Power: Are You Willing to Do the Work?. Listen to the full conversation for the complete discussion.