Ep 42: Brake Pedal Beliefs: Why High-Achieving Black Women Stay Stuck
You're Moving, But Not as Fast As You Want Because One Foot Is Still on the Brake
You can be working toward something with your foot fully on the gas pedal, journaling, and repeating your manifestations daily, and still feel like you're not moving nearly as fast for all the effort you're putting in. Or worse, you're giving it your all and still feel like you're standing still.
The reason is that you have some brake-pedal beliefs that, no matter how hard you press the gas, you will always be in the slow lane. This is what they look like in real life.
In this episode
What brake pedal beliefs actually are and why they're so hard to catch. You're still moving, so you don't notice them.
The go-kart story that made it click: you cannot press the gas and the brake at the same time.
Real examples from my own life: fear of visibility, holding back in dating, and nearly underselling her house because it felt easier.
The inner child meditation I've been using to send love to the moments where the fear first started.
How neutralizing the brake first makes your manifestation land at a completely different level in your body.
Chapters
(00:00) I'm back, and why the podcast went quiet for a year
(02:20) Opening Asha's Place Lisbon: how it happened in 30 days
(06:50) The group call that sparked this episode: brake pedal beliefs
(09:00) Real examples: visibility, dating, and the house in Oregon
(12:30) The go-kart story
(15:10) What to do once you notice the brake
(17:00) The inner child meditation practice I'm using right now
(21:00) How to put a halt to your own gas pedal beliefs
Links mentioned
Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski
Sedona Healing Arts / Yolesa Lawrince (intuitive reader training)
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Asha (00:01.432)
Hi everyone, Asha here. Welcome back to the podcast, or maybe I should welcome myself back. It's been almost a year. I just looked and the last episode I published was April 24th, 2025. And as I'm recording this, it's April 6th, 2026. And a lot has happened in the past year in my life, in my business, in my development, growth, all of those things. And I...
took an intentional and unintentional step away to make space for the new things that were happening. The unintentional part was that I just felt busy and overwhelmed and didn't have time to record the podcast. But the intentional part was knowing that I would pick it back up when it was time to go. And I've been thinking about it probably since December of last year. So for about four months and saying, okay, I think I'm ready.
There was a lot of shoulds, even though I try not to should myself. I should be getting back into this. it's a, it's a good thing to do. I used to enjoy it. Let's get back into it. But there was something about doing the podcast the way that I had been doing it that just didn't feel aligned anymore. So if you were used to watching the video for this podcast, you'll notice that right now there's no video. And that's one thing that I had to just let go because it just felt like so much.
Not even a lot because I don't mind being on video, but it felt like, okay, I got a plan. I got to get out of my pajamas, at least from the top up. I have to make sure that the background looks good. You all these little things that just kept me from hitting record. And that was one thing. Another thing was there's so much going on. If you're not aware, I have opened up a healing space specifically for the African diaspora in Lisbon, Portugal. I moved to Portugal almost two years ago.
about a year into being here, about 10 months, 11 months into being here, I walked into a space in the neighborhood of Bar Rualto for a friend of mine who was doing a pop-up, pop-up clothing store, and the space was beautiful. And she was renting the space and I thought, maybe I should rent the space and do some breath work sessions or some meditation sessions or do some classes or workshops.
Asha (02:20.92)
I mentioned this to another friend of mine and she told me that the owner of the business was actually looking to sell the business. And as soon as she said that it dropped in, this is your place. 30 days later, I had a lease, I had the keys and I had made the first payment for all of the items inside the business. So didn't buy the business, but I bought the furniture inside of the business and opened up what is now called Asha's Place, which is coming up on its one year anniversary.
So all of that was going on and I felt the need to focus on building this in-person business and the online business had to take a backseat for a while, which included the podcast. And then what else has been going on? I have been growing and shedding in different ways. I have been letting go of traditional advice and really, really tuning into my own wisdom and intuition. There was a period of time that I didn't realize that this has had happened.
but I was outsourcing all of my wisdom, especially as it happened around business. I joined all these business coaching containers, all of these people who had the answer. And I won't say that they didn't have the answer, but I don't think that they had the answer for me. And I realized that what I was being asked to do was to really return to myself, my own wisdom, my own intuition. And in that process, I learned a little bit more about human design. Actually, this sounds counter.
contradictory, but I met with a human design coach before I decided I wasn't working with anybody else for a while. And she taught me how to use human design in my business. And what it did for me was to validate everything that I had been feeling internally, but that I thought was a problem. For example, I am a person that needs rest. I'm, we all need rest, but I cannot do 16 weeks and keep my energy up all the time.
That was one of the problems that is one of the problems I complain about when it comes to teaching at the community college level. When I was in college, we had 10 week quarters and it was great. By the time I would get tired, it would be over. But 16 weeks is a long time. The coaching community advises that you do at least a 12 week container or more because you have to sell less often. But for me, it felt like a drain. And sometimes I would feel like I didn't know what to say. And it just felt like I was dragging it out.
Asha (04:42.444)
And I would start to not dread coming to the calls, but it would be more work. Whereas in the beginning, it was new and exciting and I was energized. And I realized by looking at my human design that my rhythms and cycles are a little bit shorter than somebody else who's not in the same pattern. So 16 weeks is way too long for me, but something like six weeks or eight weeks or meeting every other week is a great pattern for me. And I had been ignoring that because that wasn't what the wisdom of the time was.
And I took a break from all of that wisdom to allow myself to learn how to hear and listen to myself and to see what wisdom I had internally. And this last year, I have also learned how to train other people to become intuitive readers. I took an intuitive reader certification in 2021, maybe 2022, and took a number of courses at this place called Sedona Healing Arts with a wonderful, wonderful
teacher and psychic and healer named Yolesa Lawrence. And she opened up an opportunity to train us, her students who had been through most of the program or all of the programs, to teach other people the same things that we had learned. And, you know, I'm a natural teacher at heart, but like what happened to me when I started taking all of these courses, it wasn't to teach other people. It was for my own growth.
and edification education. And in this process of having been in this intuitive reader trainer course, I have revisited a number of pieces of advice. I have strengthened my connection to energy, my intuition. I have learned about myself. I have learned how to teach and transmute what I have learned. And it has been a beautiful growth over the year with all of the things that have been happening in my life.
It doesn't mean that it has been easy. Growth is not always easy, but it has been necessary and it's been wonderful to have this support along the way. And so this leads me to this episode of the podcast, because last week we were talking about putting our energy and our focus into our goals and into manifestation and into the things that we want to bring into our.
Asha (07:06.926)
lives, but as we ended the call, we also talked about the beliefs that have our foot on the brake. And I've heard this before. I took a training or a certification course from a psychologist, neuropsychologist, where she named them brake pedal beliefs. And I also read the book.
She comes first by Emily Nagowski, where she talks about, you know, in the bedroom or in sexuality, there's all of these things that we do to prepare to get us in the mood, but we don't think about all of the things that have our mood on the brake pedal or have our foot on the brake for the mood. So for example, it is one thing to say, I want to manifest a thousand
dollars this month or thousand euros this month, but then We may be focusing on that but then we also may have some beliefs that are like break-petal beliefs that tell us that it's not safe to manifest that or that we're selfish if we want a thousand dollars or a thousand euros or that the work that's required will be harmful to us like showing up on social media or marketing or talking about our offers or whatever and Having revisited this conversation this past Friday
I felt like it was really important to share that it's not just about what we say that we want to do that's going to get us there. Even though that's a part of it, we need to focus our mind and our intuition and, you know, really move in the direction that we want to go. But we also need to be aware of the beliefs that are stopping our progress. And the hard part about this is that you can still be moving forward.
And not recognize the impact that your break pedal beliefs have on you. So for example, this past year, I have built a business in Lisbon that is focused on healing for the African diaspora and for anybody else who is comfortable with black people and our stories and our needs being centered as a part of healing. And I'm at this point where
Asha (09:33.056)
There's more reputation than revenue and full transparency. And I'm thinking about what are the things that need to be done to actually move the needle for revenue and to get more people in because there's recognition on social media, but that doesn't necessarily translate into people coming into the studio. And one of the things that I've been thinking about is creating more opportunities for people to get to know me, my beliefs, how we do things.
Which is also another reason why I am back on this podcast to create more of a relationship with you so that we can be in relationship before you actually come here to Lisbon. But before I got comfortable again, I knew that I needed to create more visibility and I've had people help me around this, but there's also some fear around that visibility. There has been fear historically of what if I get it wrong? What if I say the wrong thing or what if I.
tell somebody something and it's the wrong piece of advice for them. That fear that I'm going to do it wrong is a break pedal belief. And it's hard to have your foot on the gas and on the brake at the same time. Or should I say, even if you have your foot on the gas, if your foot is also on the brake, you know you're not going anywhere. I remember the very first time that I rode a go-kart.
I had my foot on the gas and the brake at the same time. I was probably a teenager. I might've been in Florida visiting family. And I didn't even, I didn't even know that I was doing anything. It was totally subconscious because there was a fear that was there. I came back around after the first lap, which was a very slow lap. And the guy said, you're doing great, but take your foot off the brake. said, what? He said, take your foot off the brake. You cannot press the gas and the brake at the same time. said, So I went back around the second round. I went a little bit faster. And instead of having my foot on the brake, I just hovered over the brake.
And it was a much better ride. So as you think about that image, you know, just begin to think about where do you have your foot on the gas, but also on the break at the same time. Another example is in dating. I say that I want a long-term relationship and I do, I'm ready to get married again. I'm ready to start a little family. I'm ready to do this thing called life with a partner. And also I'm scared y'all.
Asha (11:53.4)
I'm scared. I'm scared that I am going to get taken advantage of. I'm scared that I'm going to choose the wrong person. I'm scared that I'm going to wake up one day and feel stuck. I'm scared that I'm going to be in a relationship that doesn't meet my emotional needs. And even though I am putting myself out there, that fear is my foot on the brake. And what does that mean? It means that sometimes I show up and I am not as open as I need to be.
to see if someone can actually meet me in that depth. It's like saying, hey, there's a swimming pool, it's 10 feet deep, can you touch the bottom? But then you don't open the cover on the pool to see if anyone can touch the bottom, because you're afraid that they can't. How are you gonna know if you don't open up? Break pedal belief, right? Let's see if I can think of a third example. I want to travel again. Now let me give you a better example.
I am really, really desiring to sell my house in Oregon. I bought the house from my dad's trust when he passed away and he passed away in 2020. I bought it in 2021, I believe. I have had issues for the past year with repairs and squatters and this and that and the other thing. And it has been...
So frustrating to say the least, especially as I'm building this life over here in Lisbon. And I have spoken with a couple of real estate agents and I found myself minimizing what I wanted because it didn't align with what the real estate agents originally thought in terms of price. And I was going to go with a real estate agent who had a lower price because it felt like it would be the easier.
route. And then I had this realization, Asha, don't go with what's easy, actually go and get what you want. And I had to stop and think, why was I afraid to go and get what I want? Like, what was, what was behind that? Why was I trying to take the easy way out? And I had the realization that there was a subconscious belief or there is a brake pedal belief that it was going to be so much work that even though the squatters are now paying and so they're paying tenants, that it was going to be so much work.
Asha (14:19.298)
to get them out when it was time for them to leave because it took six months to actually turn them in to paying tenants once I realized that they were on the property. And so I had this brake pedal belief that it was going to be too hard to get the number that I wanted in a sale. And so I might as well go the easier route, even though what I really want deep down is much more than that. So I had to do the work to understand that I had
this break pedal belief that was going to keep me playing smaller, that was going to keep me from actually getting even the real value of the house, let alone the value that I want for the house because of this break pedal belief. So fast forward again to this past Friday, as we're talking about break pedal beliefs and taking our foot off the gas, sorry, taking our foot off the break.
so that we can actually get what we say that we want. And I just wanted to share that with you this week so that you can spend some time thinking about where is your foot on the brake? And maybe where is your foot simultaneously on the gas and the brake? Or maybe you look at what you're working towards and see where your foot is on the gas and then look over and see is your foot also on the brake?
And what do you do once you notice that your foot is on the break? This is where you got to use your intuition, your connective skills, your meditation, your power to focus your energy. When you realize that your foot is on the break somewhere, I want you to think back to why that might be. Why is it on there? Why might it be on there? For example, I was thinking about visibility in my own business, holding myself out there.
And when I really thought about it, it goes back to childhood or even some times in adult years where I've put myself out there, where I've opened my heart, where I've shown up as I am and I've been rejected. I've been hurt. And now there is a fear. There's a subconscious fear. There's a, I was going to say a minimal fear because it's not something I think about every day, but maybe it's a bigger fear because
Asha (16:45.46)
it results in me putting my foot on the brake around visibility. There's a part of me that is scared to open up and to show what I really want or to show who I really am at a level that feels vulnerable because I have this memory of a fear of being rejected, of told I'm not good enough, of being told I'm not wanted or being told that I've done it wrong, or just being rejected in whatever way that shows up.
And so I, in my meditations this week, I'm focusing on sending love to that situation and forgiving anybody, including myself, for any pain or discomfort or fear that arose in those moments of rejection. And I can't remember all the specific incidents.
So I am allowing myself to recall what little Asha felt like in those moments, what that little girl experienced. Maybe I see the person who rejected me. Remember some elementary school friends. I remember sometimes it was my dad's comments. I remember sometimes it just was because I was the odd one out in school. And I send love to that situation. I send this.
white light, this energy, this purification energy to those situations. And then I imagine myself sending love into my heart, into the heart of that little girl that experienced those things. And then I even picture myself as my adult self, like in a mama format or mama form, holding my little girl self, holding like my five and six year old self, like a little kid would curl up into a parent's arms.
And snuggle. That's what I imagine myself doing. And just really holding and comforting that little girl that experienced that pain. And then I imagine both of us, old and young, sitting inside this bubble of white light and love and energy that becomes this bubble of protection. So that those feelings, those experiences no longer penetrate my heart. And I sit there for a few minutes and just
Asha (19:08.258)
Let that feeling sink in of love, of compassion, of forgiveness for wanting acceptance, for recognizing that I'm human, that there's nothing wrong with that, that that's just a part of who we are. And then I begin to feel that love cultivate in my body, that energy, and it feels incredible. It feels like a force that will allow me to do anything that I want, which is absolutely...
beautiful. And then once I've done that, I think about all the things that I'm working towards. I think about people coming to my retreat at the studio, my solo retreat for busy, burned out women who are looking to reconnect to themselves and figure out what's next in life. I think about my group program that I am running right now called Reset, which is about reconnecting women to their intuition and into their bodies and learning how to
filter decisions through what they feel and not just what they think. I think about the family that I want to have in the future. I think about all of the things that I want now that I have neutralized my foot on the break in terms of visibility. And I begin to pull those things in, I begin to feel them in my body, and it is a deeper, more profound transformation embodiment.
Than it has ever been before because I have taken my foot off the brake. I have told myself, not just told myself, I have allowed myself to feel safe before I think about the manifestation. So that the manifestation can reach deeper levels in my body. feels like the cells are changing. So this week, as you go on about your life, as you go on about your world, just start to notice your.
gas beliefs, the places you're going, the things that you're doing. And then just shift over and look and see if you have any break pedal beliefs that might be stopping or slowing your progress. It won't stop you. They won't stop you. Most of the time they won't stop you, but they probably are slowing down your progress. So just think about those and then in your meditation or your mindfulness practice, and it doesn't have to be very long, send love to the person.
Asha (21:32.238)
who is remembering those break pedal beliefs. Send light to that situation so you can begin to neutralize it and then really call in and sit with your gas beliefs, the things that you are manifesting, the things that you are moving in and notice how it feels different in your body now that you have taken your foot off the brake. I would love to hear how this goes for you. So either reply to the podcast in the comment section.
Or send me a message. I am on Instagram at Asha Wilkerson ESQ. Or come to the website and send me a message there on the contact form. I will see you soon. I want to say I'll see you next week, but you know what? Since I'm just getting back into this, I cannot make any promises, but I am eager to be consistent with this podcast again and to continue the conversation. So I will leave you with, I will see you soon.