Ep 17: How to Create Space In Your Life to Consider All the Options
In this episode, Asha Wilkerson discusses the importance of creating space in your life to consider your options and make changes.
She shares three tips: listening to your body, scripting your desired reality, and adding time for Reiki and breathwork. By creating this space, you can make small changes that align with your dreams and start living a life that is more fulfilling.
Asha also shares her personal journey of creating space and how it has transformed her life.
Takeaways
Create space in your life to consider your options and make changes.
Listen to your body and pay attention to the feedback it gives you.
Script your desired reality in the present tense to give your brain something to work towards.
Add time for Reiki and breathwork to your calendar to relax and allow your subconscious to work towards your goals.
Sign up for personalized coaching to create space to consider the possibilities and to take action on your dreams.
Chapters
(00:00) Create Space to Live Your Dream Life Now
(03:26) Listen to Your Body for Guidance
(06:33) Script Your Desired Reality
(08:52) Add Time for Reiki and Breath Work
Resources
To learn more about starting your healing journey, head to ashawilkerson.com!
Interested in working with Asha? Click here to get on her calendar for a discovery call.
Follow Asha on Instagram @AshaWilkersonEsq
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Asha Wilkerson (00:07.896)
I've been meeting so many women lately who are telling me that they're ready for a change, but they just can't make it right now. And even while I've been here in Portugal, I've met at least five women who say that they're going to come back to Portugal, maybe retire here or that they're headed this way. But I asked them why they're waiting. How come they're not doing it now? And they all replied, because I have a child or because my parents are aging or because of my job, I'm going to do it when I retire.
And all of that makes logical sense, but I realized that the problem about not moving or not changing the way that they were doing life to live the life that they wanted to have now wasn't because of children or parents or work. The problem was that they hadn't created the time and space in their lives to consider the options that were available to them right now. So it was almost like an all or nothing. I can't make any changes now.
This is what I'm stuck with, but I can do it in five years when I retire. I can do it in five years when my child graduates. I can do it after my parents pass away because then I'll have freedom. What kind of life is that? That's not a real choice. So in today's episode, I'm going to share with you three easy ways to create space in your life to dream and plan so you won't be stuck living another 10 years taking care of everybody else before you take care of yourself.
Asha Wilkerson (01:39.18)
All right, let's get started. So I have three tips for you today so that you can create space in your life just to begin thinking about what options and opportunities are available to you so you can make those small and subtle changes to start living your dream life now. The first one is to just spend five minutes a day listening to your body. I have been doing my practice intuitive readings lately and I've been asking people
What is the feedback that your body is giving you? What is your body telling you about the relationship that you have that you've come to me to ask about? What is your body telling you about the job that you have that you know that you don't want to be in anymore, but logically, you can't figure out why you should be able to leave? What is your body telling you about what kind of life you want to live in your future? And most of the people that I've been doing readings for have said,
I don't know. I don't know what my body says. And I was just like that a few years ago. So here's what I did. It required some intentional effort, but here's what I did to start creating little space in the day to just understand what was going on within me. So then I could make a different choice about how I wanted to proceed even just in the day. So I would spend five minutes a day
just scanning my body. And in the beginning, it was hard for me to do it by myself. So I would put on a body scan meditation. And typically they'll tell you to take a couple of deep breaths and then they'll ask you, what do you feel in your head? What do you feel in your jaw? What do you feel in your throat, in your chest? And they'll go all the way down through your body. Another way to do it too, is to check in with your chakras. Your root chakra is down kind of between your legs. Your sacral chakra is like your reproductive center.
Your solar plexus is in your stomach right below your rib cage and your diaphragm. Your heart chakra is in your chest right around your heart. There's your throat chakra. And then there's your third eye, which is between your eyebrows. And then there's your crown chakra, which sits right above your head. You can go through those chakras also just to see how are you feeling and how do you want to feel. Or after something happens or when you get up in the morning,
Asha Wilkerson (04:01.046)
What is it that your body's telling you? Because I believe that our body is always talking to us. We are just not very tuned in with listening. So when I check in, we can do it right now. You could close your eyes, take a deep breath
and just check in and see what's happening. Are you sitting at your desk? Maybe you're laying in bed listening to this. Please don't drive and close your eyes, but just see what message does your body have for you? What is it telling you about the things that you're engaged in right now? Is it telling you this feels really good? Yay, this is exciting. My heart is warm. Or are you feeling those butterflies in your stomach?
Or that tightness in your stomach or tightness in your chest. When you begin to check in with your body, you can then make decisions about the feedback that your body has given you so that the feedback changes. When I realized that I was having anxiety in the mornings about opening up my email and responding to phone calls for my job, first I was thinking, I just have to figure out how to get through
But then I realized that that was information that what I was doing was not in alignment anymore. And when I realized I didn't want to be responsible for the program, I didn't want to be answering student questions all day, I didn't want to be filling out reports for the Bar Association, I decided that I didn't want to be in charge anymore. And so I resigned from my full-time job. There are many steps in between that, but if I hadn't started to listen to my body,
I wouldn't have understood what small changes I could make that would allow me to make the big change that I ultimately made. So the first thing is to create space five minutes a day to listen to your body. When you do that, you will begin to see what changes you can make to start living a life that is more aligned with you right now. The second thing that I recommend
Asha Wilkerson (06:10.326)
is that you start scripting. You spend some time writing maybe every day, maybe once a week, maybe a rate that aligns with you or that feels good, but start scripting. And scripting is a manifestation technique where you write about your desired reality, but you write about it in the present tense. So about six or seven years ago when I started doing more of the healing kind of work and...
got back into journaling again, it was journaling with more intention, I started writing out what I wanted my dream life to look like. And I didn't have any clue how it was going to come true, but I saw myself living on a beach, saw myself working for myself, I saw myself having lots of space in my day to just be, to exist, to work out, I'd see a chef in my future, all of these things. But when I started writing them down,
that's not the reality that I was living, but I created that space for me in the mornings, sometimes in the afternoons to write down what I wanted. And you can do the same. Start writing down what your ideal life would look like. And here's the thing. Don't count it out as you're writing it. Write down if you could have anything that you wanted. If life could look like anything that you wanted it to look like, what would it look like? And write that down.
Don't worry about the how, don't worry about the when, don't worry about the why, don't worry about all the people who are gonna have to adjust, don't worry about any guilt or feelings like that. Just write down what your ideal life would look like. And what that does is it gives your brain something to work towards. And when you allow yourself to start seeing the future that you want, your subconscious will start making decisions for you, saying yes to things and no to things that are in alignment
with what you want and you will start to figure it out and go, that feels good. I want to head this way. And the third thing that you can do to start creating space to even figure out what you want is to add time for Reiki and breathwork into your calendar. I started with Reiki and breathwork back in 2020 and
Asha Wilkerson (08:28.878)
And this, I'm also like this with the gym too. I keep trying to work out on my own and I can do it for about two weeks at home, but I'm just a social person. I need to have that accountability and that time to spend time with myself. Even before this, when I realized I was really tired, I was working 90 miles away from my home. I was spending three nights a week in Sacramento, even though I lived in Oakland. So I was living this like double life, my work life and
my personal life and I was on the go so much and that had never really bothered me before. But I realized that I was giving all of my time to everything and everybody and it wasn't enough for me to just say, okay, I'm going to create space. I literally had to add it to my calendar and I called it "Asha Time" in my calendar. The same thing I want you to do for Reiki and breath work or whatever other kind of somatic practice that you choose. I want you to add it to your calendar. So I want you to sign up for these things,
or write it down in your calendar and hold that space sacred. Now, the reason why I recommend Reiki and/or breathwork is because with both of those, you are on the receiving end. It's not something that you have to do. It's not something that you have to give. You don't even have to show up any place because you can sign up for virtual sessions so you can be right in your home. You don't have to go anywhere, but add the practice
add the space to your calendar so your brain can even begin to consider the possibilities of how things could be different. And the combination of checking in with your body, writing down what you want your future to look like, and then creating space for Reiki or breathwork is a powerful combination because when you relax in Reiki, when you lay down and breathe in breathwork,
You can lay down your conscious thoughts and your subconscious can get to work building that life that you've scripted. And all you have to do is show up, breathe and receive. That is absolutely it. But it is not going to happen if you don't create space in your life for you to even consider what the possibilities are. So if you're anything like me, you've been so busy taking care of everybody else that you just don't make time
Asha Wilkerson (10:55.566)
for yourself. I realized that I had to do this. I've already told you a little bit about it, but I'll tell you even more. When I got burned out in 2020 or when I realized that I was burned out in 2020, things really came to a head to a pinnacle for me. Beginning in 2016, I had decided to go back to business school to better advise my business clients. I also got a full -time teaching position at a community college
in January of 2017. In March of 2017, my dad started chemotherapy because his prostate cancer came back. And my dad lived in a different state. I was in California and he was in Oregon. So on top of winding up my law practice, learning how to be a full-time college professor and run the paralegal program, on top of being in a full -time MBA program,
I was also flying to Portland every four to six weeks to check in on my dad because he lived by himself. I was on the go and I was giving to everything and everybody, but I wasn't allowing myself to sit and to be still. And when the pandemic came in 2020, in March 2020, because I didn't have to travel anymore, because I had to, we all had to sit down.
I was finally able to feel how exhausted I was and how tired I was. And I had signed up for coaching so that I could be a better CEO of my business. And the coach that I chose was also on her own healing journey. And she was learning Reiki. She was learning how to read Akashic records. She had become breathwork certified, all of these things. And so she would give these things, these modalities to me in our coaching. And I remember in the very beginning, she would ask me, what do you feel in your body? How do you feel?
And I couldn't feel a thing. I didn't know what she was talking about. I didn't have access to the emotions. I didn't have access to the feelings in my body. And so I couldn't even use my body as feedback at that point because I had been so disconnected because I was just trying to survive every single day. But eventually I stuck with it. I kept signing up. I kept showing up. I kept breathing through things and now my body is a wealth
Asha Wilkerson (13:19.84)
of information for me to make decisions on. And because I continue to engage in breathwork practice, because I continue to receive Reiki, because I still make time for myself to journal and meditate in the mornings, I am able to constantly or consistently consider what possibilities are available for me when I don't like what's happening or when I want to improve on what's happening. But I could not think about
what else could be different in my life if I didn't create this space for myself to just show up, to just breathe, to lay down some of the responsibilities, to not think about anybody else, but just to get in my own head and my own body and see what I wanted to do next. So that's what I want for you. I want you to be able to create the space to be present with yourself, to consider the possibilities
of what's possible for you. In my 90 day You first coaching program, you will create the space in your calendar every
My 90 day You First coaching program creates space in your calendar every week for you to think about what you want and only what you want. We alternate weeks between coaching where we're talking strategy and planning, and I'm giving you feedback and advice and somatic practices like breathwork and Reiki. So you can just sit and receive and allow whatever thoughts and processes that want to pop up to pop up and we can handle them.
I also give you journaling prompts and templates so you can start to mine your thoughts, figure out what it is that you want, figure out where the resistance is coming from and work through it. My clients have weekly space in their calendar to consider all of their options. And I help them choose which ones they want to follow and eliminate any doubt or fear or resistance that comes up when they think about taking action. With my support, they've been able to take action on their dreams.
Asha Wilkerson (15:30.072)
They've been able to change relationships with overbearing mothers and critical mothers and change relationships with dads that have been, I don't know, just really tough, right? And have affected their relationships with their children. They've been able to quit their corporate jobs. They've been able to move to new countries. They've been able to rethink what it means to work for money. And instead of
being tied to corporate, they're now considering ways to make money for themselves using the talents they've developed over the course of their professional career. But it all started with being able to intentionally create the space to consider their options. And the same is available to you as well. So I'm currently accepting one-on-one clients. If you are interested in changing your life around, but starting with creating
more space just to even consider the possibilities. You don't have to know what they are yet, but you just want to figure out what's available to you. Head to my website, ashawilkerson.com/coaching to book a coaching sales call so that you can intentionally create the space in your life to consider all that's available to you. And as you do that, as you move throughout this week, I want you to remember that it's because I've healed,
that I've been able to repair old relationships and start new ones from a different perspective. It's because I've healed that I've been able to leave expectations behind that no longer serve me. It's because I've healed that I'm able to currently live out my dream life with no regrets. And the same is available to you as well.